NOSTALGIA

Nostalgia. Strange isn't it? When you feel nostalgic about things you thought you would never miss! I never miss school. This comment might just raise a few eyebrows but its true. I don't miss school. Not ever. I always thought that I am going to miss school but I now that its a year since I passed school I don't feel its emptiness. I don't feel incomplete nor do I feel as if I am missing something.

Like every other people walking in the road of life my school memories does consists of both good and bad memories. Before I had to make an effort to recall the bad memories. Now that comes just too easily. I now have to make an effort to recall the moments that I enjoyed in school.

The moments that were the pinnacles in those 14 years. It wasn't as if there were few moments. There were plenty. But were have they disappeared to now? Have I changed my outlook or is it that the loyalty which bound me to an institution for 14 years have torn to shreds? Why? Does it happen to everybody? People say that school life defines a person, his meaning of life in his own way?

How am I supposed to define my life based on experiences of school? That we should move on no matter how many times we fail? That we should pick up the pieces of mistakes we made, analyze them and pray for a chance to rectify it? That always following rules is not ethical? That sharing brings in new boundaries? That trust is a gift and should be used cautiously? That it hurts more to have your heart broken than your leg? That the show always goes on?

Sometimes when am alone I go 6 years back. I see the happy-go-lucky girl surrounded by her friends caring about nothing except her grades and her games. I see the dangers lurking around her, invisible to her but visible to an experienced eye. I want to reach out to her, warn her, make her aware of the danger surrounding her. But I stop.

My hand wavers in the air. Will she listen to me? Will she believe me? What if she doesn't? Will it fall to deaf ears? I take a look in eye and all my doubts are put to rest. The innocence in her is apparent from her eyes. One word of caution from will break it forever. And that beauty needs to be preserved not broken.

In her eyes I see the strength to face up to challenges. I see the determination, weak, but yet there. I see dreams, hope, love, care, kindness. But predominant of all is her innocence. It assures me that she will learn. In her own pace in her own way. Looking at her, knowing what future has in store for her, I do not want to disturb the picture. Not because I have no regrets but because it is her life and she will choose or let time choose for her what she will fell most nostalgic about. Relation for 14 years or the innocence of one's youth!